


Twisted Roots

by kiyala



Category: Future Card Buddyfight
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 05:45:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5528285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyala/pseuds/kiyala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kiri doesn't want to be Miserea. He just wants to be safe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twisted Roots

**Author's Note:**

> for flap, who I am eternally grateful for meeting

"I don't know how to be a buddy monster," Kiri says, soft and doubtful as he looks down at his hands folded in his lap.

Rouga is standing somewhere behind him. In the silence of the forest, in the middle of the night, Kiri feels small and insignificant and right now, there's nothing he wouldn't give for that to be the case. The word _monster_ sits heavily on his tongue, and his voice sounds weak to his own ears, even more so than usual. 

Kiri hears Rouga draw in a deep breath behind him. He's standing closer than Kiri expected. His boots crunch against the grass, the first bits of frost forming on them from the cold night air. It's only then that Kiri realises that he doesn't feel the cold, that he's comfortable in his usual clothes while Rouga is wearing his coat buttoned all the way up. 

Perhaps that's another side effect of being a demon: not having to feel the cold. There are a lot of other things Kiri would like to stop feeling, too. It's a pity he can't pick and choose. 

"Depending on who you ask," Rouga speaks up, sitting down beside Kiri, "some people would tell you that I don't know how to be a buddyfighter. Perhaps they're true, in a way. I don't follow their rules. I value strength, over all else." 

Kiri turns away, lips pressed together in a thin line. "I'm sorry. In that case, you really don't need to sit here and listen to me. I'm not getting anywhere, and I'm not exactly what anyone would call strong."

"I would," Rouga says quietly. He's watching Kiri closely, like he's fascinated. It's difficult to hold his gaze, so Kiri doesn't even try. "Do you remember when we first met properly, when I captured you and took you to Sengoku Academy?"

"It's a little difficult to forget," Kiri replies truthfully.

"I took you with me because we knew that you had the potential for strength, but I realise now that it's not that you had the _potential_ for it. You wouldn't have even stood out to us if you weren't strong in your own right."

"Maybe that wasn't me." Kiri's fingers twist in his lap. "Maybe it was just Miserea all along."

"I think you need to realise," Rouga tells him patiently, "that there might not be that much difference. It's a matter of a name, isn't it?"

"It's more than that," Kiri replies immediately. "Miserea is— so much more. I'm not that. I'm not a demon lord, Rouga. I'm just Hyoryu Kiri, and I'm scared." 

"That's what you have me here for, isn't it?" Rouga asks, looking into the distance, to the shadowy outline of trees in the darkness. "Look at this forest, growing on the side of a mountain. You've seen how steep the slopes can be, and all of these trees still manage to dig their roots into the earth and grow, don't they? We're like that. No matter how difficult the conditions might be, we find a way to grow. Our roots might be twisted, they might not be conventional, but they're there all the same, and I don't think that we should be ignoring them."

"Are you talking about Miserea?" Kiri asks, "Or are you talking about the Disaster Force?"

Rouga's lips twist into a self-deprecating smile. "Can't I be talking about both? I think it still applies. Here we are, a pair of people who grow against all odds, who have twisted roots."

"Roots that I didn't even know about," Kiri says quietly. 

"I don't think anyone, regardless of whether they're a buddy monster or a buddyfighter, start off knowing anything about what they're doing," Rouga says. "I don't think that many of them realise that it's the case, but there's only so much you can know when you're on your own. You've learned that yourself, haven't you? All the time that you've spent with Joker has taught you more about yourself than you could have learned on your own. The same with me and Cerberus. We might grow on our own, but I think that we grow faster when we have someone else to grow with. It's the difference between trees and a forest." 

Kiri takes a deep breath, taking in the scent of the mountain air, the forest around them. "You want to grow together."

"Yes," Rouga says. "It's not the most conventional proposal, but Kiri, if you would partner with me—"

"You want Miserea," Kiri tells him. "Not Kiri. I'm no use to anyone, as a buddyfighter or as a buddy monster. You want the demon sealed away inside me."

"I want all of you," Rouga replies simply, unashamed, even though the words make Kiri's face burn. "I want the part of you that is Kiri, I want the part of you that is Miserea. I want you to know that you aren't as alone as you think." 

"Not as alone as I want to be," Kiri says with a rueful smile. Every single time he tries running away, he's found. It's fitting, he supposes, that he's not even good at doing that. 

"If you need time…" Rouga shrugs. "If you need silence and solitude to think, then I suppose you're in the right place. There aren't many people who would come across you, over here."

"Except for you."

"I'll give you space, if that's what you need from me." 

That makes Kiri think. He isn't sure what he _needs_ , from Rouga, from anybody. His first thought is of Miserea, of his desire to keep the demon slumbering, to retain his sense of self instead of feeling like his entire life is a lie, a poorly constructed mask to be used until he dissolves into someone— _something_ else entirely. 

"I think I need you with me." The words come out of his mouth without him even realising, until Rouga turns to him with surprise. "Maybe I need a partner. Maybe I need someone to balance me out." 

Rouga smiles at him, small and cautious. "I'll do what I can to provide that for you."

"I want to feel safe," Kiri admits, his voice barely more than a whisper on the night breeze. 

"You'll be safe," Rouga promises. "I'll do everything in my power to make sure you feel that way. To _keep_ you safe." 

Kiri nods, turning the thought over and over in his mind. Rouga touches his shoulder cautiously, first with a hand, then wrapping an arm around it, pulling Kiri closer. 

"Rouga," Kiri says slowly, "what are you doing?"

"I'm keeping you safe," Rouga replies simply. He rests his chin on Kiri's head, for the briefest moment. 

Kiri doesn't know the word for the feeling that suddenly floods through him, but all he can do is melt into the touch, into Rouga's warmth. Interesting, he thinks to himself, that he doesn't feel the cold, but he can still notice the warmth. He rests his head on Rouga's shoulder, his breath coming out as a shaky sigh when he feels Rouga's chin on top of his head again. 

"You're afraid," Rouga observes quietly. "Of me?"

"Not you," Kiri says immediately, surprised to find that it's the truth. "I'm not afraid of you. I used to be, I think, but that's in the past." 

Rouga brings a hand to Kiri's hair, stroking it slowly. It takes every ounce of self control Kiri has to keep himself from shuddering with pleasure. He needs this, he thinks. He needs Rouga's touch, with just a hint of possessiveness, with a quiet strength that Kiri lacks and envies and admires. He needs Rouga. None of his other friends would understand the way he's feeling, all of them too straightforward, too convinced that things will work out if they believe hard enough. 

Kiri knows just how often that doesn't happen, he's learned it through personal experience, and he knows that Rouga understands. Rouga might not understand him entirely, but they're both trying, and that counts for a lot. 

"I don't know if I want to buddyfight," Kiri admits into the comfort and safety of Rouga's arms. "As a monster. Being on the field, taking attacks, attacking other monsters. I don't know if I can do that."

"I'm not going to push you into anything that you don't feel comfortable with," Rouga assures him. "We'll take it slow. We'll see how you feel and if we're going anywhere new, we're going to take it one step at a time."

Kiri smiles. "You're a good person, Rouga."

"I disagree," Rouga replies. "Everyone you know would disagree."

Rouga's wrong, and perhaps he knows that. Not with Gao, ever forgiving, always convinced of the good in people's hearts. Perhaps the rest of Gao's friends would disagree too. Kiri supposes that he's bound to find out, eventually, especially if he does end up partnering with Rouga.

"I don't care if you go by Kiri, or if you go by Miserea," Rouga tells him, holding him close. "You're a friend, above anything else. I'll treat you as such."

"A friend," Kiri echoes, feeling Rouga's lips brush across his temple. He turns his face towards Rouga's, their noses brushing against each other. 

"Perhaps that's an oversimplification," Rouga breathes, warm puffs of air making Kiri's lips tingle. "But we're not particularly simple people, are we?"

"No." Kiri smiles, leaning into Rouga. "Not at all."


End file.
